ANTI-THESIS

It's not out of frustration that I've finalized, it's because I thought it was a wrap and that the only reason I flicker so frequently, is because it's the sort of thing one flickers about: It's an outlook. And what occurred to me as really pensive, really thought-out thought now sounds (not absurd) but a little depressing, you know. Maybe it was a whole different scenario back then, and maybe right now I can't afford to be as depressed as I was then, like I have this new cue to life that I didn't, back then. But what matters is that I wrote it out and it's the same as what I posted yesterday, you'd know if you visited back then and you're dropping by again, you'd see the change. I've only added a little more, and touched a little.

"Always, always looking
for a half a mind over the other half,
always looking for the second laugh;
ever dying, for the name in your name,
and you never know
that you're only as close
as you're far from it..."

Half in tune with 'Wheel' by John Mayer, 'Heavier Things'. Half in tune with who knows what, the above lines have nothing to do with John. I only didn't want to taint that song, I couldn't bring myself to write something else for something perfect, it seemed criminal. But then again, something happened, something changed, made me understand that what moved won't move without what moved it in the first place. All the time that I thought that I was right, only to realize that I've been a little off-course. 'Anti-thesis' hardly seemed to be the 'deconstructive' title, and I guess that was what I intended before. To be deconstructive, to totally deconstruct an outlook to life and name it my 'Anti-thesis', and in that I was to advocate how we all 'long' for things, when we could actually live with what's in hand, because 'more' is just more than less and less is a little lesser than most 'more'. That could possibly shrink one's state of mind, extinguish desire, maybe even bring about world peace. But I don't think I need that: Can't say the same about the world, though.

So I stuck to what comes naturally to me: Cynicism. And in case you get it wrong, I need to clarify that my 'cynicism' isn't about scoffing at stuff, maybe it is but that's not the whole point. It's the 'dying want to be disproved', that's how I define it. Eighth prospective addition to 'My Book of Rhymes', after a long time. I need a party.