THE HEART OF LIFE

This had been coming on for a while, when I had thought of an uncle who had died sixteen years before and how I strangely hadn’t missed him at all and that’s only because I never knew him enough to miss him. And it’s like, every single time that a person I knew has died, I’ve never felt a pang of thought that lasted too long, I’m not specifying days here for I myself am not aware of when my thoughts had moved on. The mind had put this thought of mine to a self-evaluating module, and I figured that every single person who I knew had died had somehow left my life or had become sort of temporarily detached (for ‘left’ sounds too insensitive of me) from my day-to-day deal and had embarked on something without me that every time I had heard the news, I had to grieve over a memory and just a memory at that, and as vivid as I claim my memories to be, I don’t think they’re that powerful though. Or maybe I’m aware that they’re just memories and nothing more.

Constant chant of ‘Who am I?’

a cog that turns the wheel of time;

stalling trying to turn it back,

a sideward slide, then running fast

No time to spend on those who came,

weakened with the bright of day

and left before they caught my sight,

or those who made no mark inside

Of those who left some depth explored,

in photographs and things they wrote,

of family and closest kin,

of odours that once washed my wind

They left indeed with said goodbyes,

ensued deletions off my mind;

for finer weeks and Sunday stops,

with conscience finds in ration lost

In times but I do think of them,

and maybe wonder where they went;

and an inside view on outside passed,

a scorch of eyes and stroke of hair

And water finds no slight of salt,

in resolve to live ahead without;

my worry lines in ‘fine’, disguised,

and that, my friend, is the heart of life…

I don’t know if this is an apology note on my part or merely a self-directed justification to a skeptical being inside me, but yes, this is yet another addition to my ‘Little Rhymes’. And by the way, this is NOT my version of the Mayer song. It's just a poem that's named the same, and I wish for that clarity of thought in those who read it.